*Wash & Dry*
I lived with a couple of late 20-somethings for exactly 1 year. They were a little odd, since they spent 99% of their lives in their bedroom. However, they were so silent that I never knew if they were home or not. The other 1% of their time, and the only other times I saw them was when they were filling or emptying the washer / dryer, which is insane. Not only is it crazy because I lived with them for so long and barely saw them, but because the washer and dryer were always running 100% of the time. Despite the washer and dryer being a major draw for the apartment (a rarity in a city like mine), I would only get to do my laundry *maybe* once every two weeks, when I’d noticed the dryer stopped before they reappeared. I would have to take their stuff out of the dryer, move their stuff out of the washer, and then do *some* of my own laundry. It was a massive pain in the as
I honestly think they were running some kind of wash & dry racket out of my apartment because I do not know how someone could possibly have that much laundry. To add insult to injury, they would *ALWAYS* set the washer to the craziest settings, which would make one wash cycle take *MORE THAN FOUR HOURS.* Which is fucking beyond my comprehension.
Typically, the only hours I could do laundry were between 12 and 1am. On the nights where I wasn’t up doing laundry, I would wake up at 4am nearly every night to the sound of the dryer buzzer and/or the sound of the dryer door slamming because these idiots were doing laundry at 4 fucking AM.
There was a third room in the apartment, which I came to learn was being rented out via Air BnB, and total strangers began sharing my bathroom, my soap, and even my towels without my consent or knowledge. Since I barely ever saw the couple (who owned the apartment), and since they almost never answered my text messages or calls, I was mostly powerless to do anything about this. When I finally caught them in the main house, I told them I wasn’t cool with the Air BnB guests, and they said not to worry because they were providing everything for them. When I asked if they “provided soap, towels or shampoo” they said yes, and I asked them to show me. They said, “Oh, looks like we’re out of soap and shampoo, but we have a towel for them.”
At this point I knew they were full of shit, and totally content to let the Air BnB Guests use my shit until that point. When I told them I wanted to get paid a portion of the rent they were receiving for having someone else in my house, sharing my things, they said “we own this house, you’re renting it, you don’t get to collect rent. If you have a problem, live somewhere else.”
One of the Air BnB guests stayed for a few months, and when he left, he told me he hadn’t been able to use the washer or dryer even once, and that he always had to walk a few blocks to the wash’n’dry, even through the winter months when he was staying with us.
Other than the horrible washer/dryer issues and the disgusting thought of having strangers wipe their balls with the bathtowels I used on my face, my roommates would leave food out all the time in the shared part of the apartment (kitchen, dinng room, and living room)… another really strange thing to consider because I rarely saw them leave their room. I work long hours and I came home one night around 10 to find a completely raw steak sitting on a plate on the kitchen table. It looked like it had been there for hours already. However, I also noticed that the dryer had stopped, so I spent the next 2 hours doing some laundry. Even then, the steak was still there. The next day when I left for work at 9am, the steak was still there. Other times, I would find all kinds of cookies, chips, popcorn and snacks open and scattered around the apartment. aaaaaaand this led to an ant problem in the summer. I had 6 ant traps in my room, had to put ant guard on the windows and I would still occasionally see them crawling around. This was getting gross.
Additionally, from the day I moved in, the entire fridge and freezer were full. The entire pantry was full, and every cabinet that could possibly hold food was also full. Over time, I managed to carve out a small space in one of the cabinets for my dry goods, and literally only ever got one drawer in the fridge to keep my food. There wasn’t even room on the door. If my drawer or cabinet were ever empty, they would fill those areas with their own stuff, and I’d have to spend time moving their stuff around before I could put my own groceries away.
They also had 3 rice cookers… three. Which they constantly left open, and full of rice, at least one of them, every day, at all times.
One time I bought a kitchen towel to save money on paper towels (which they used like water), and I was told by one of them that “every time you use it you must wash it. Never leave the towel in the kitchen because it will collect bacteria.” I don’t know what planet these people were from.
I don’t know when the trend started, but while I rarely saw my roommates, my bedroom was right next to the front door of the apartment. At random times of the day, I began to hear it open, and would hear them throw bags of trash out into our hallway before running back to their rooms. Also, 90% of the time I saw them, they were only in their underwear. To give you an idea, the hallway outside of our apartment was on the third floor, had no windows, and was roughly 15 feet by 4 feet. This becomes important when you consider how fucking awful that hallway smells after it becomes a garbage room, and after garbage piles up there for days until I take it out.
To add to how weird (and likely just idiotic) my roommates were. I once bought incense to burn because the smell from the garbage room / hallway had grown so bad I couldn’t leave my room without gagging. After throwing another bag of garbage into the hallway one day, my roommate knocked on my door. I answered, and he told me I can’t burn incense because he is “hypoallergenic and it affects his breathing
I’m not sure if you know what Hypoallergenic means, but it is an adjective used to describe something that is *highly unlikely* to cause an allergic reaction.
The final straw was one morning when I was pretty hung over. I was woken up at 7am by someone banging on my door. There was no way I was letting my asshole roommates think this was an appropriate way to contact me, so I decided to pretend to be asleep. In a minute, I hear some keys jingling, and the door bursts open. Standing in the doorway is a middle-aged man I’ve never seen before, holding a FUCKING HAMMER. I sprang up and, startled, waited for this man to come beat me to death, because that’s obviously why he was there, right?
WRONG. Hammer guy says “Sorry” and closes the door. Confused, I get dressed and walk out with my knife. There are a dozen work-men inside my apartment. All the floors are covered in paper, there’s supplies, wood, and tools everywhere, and the windows in my living room are MISSING (meaning there was just one giant gaping hole in the wall to the outside). Oh, also, this was in JANUARY, which if you live in the northeast US like I do, is one of the coldest months of the year.
I bang on my roommate’s door, he answers “Oh, I didn’t know you were home.” I ask him what the fuck is going on and he tells me all the windows in our apartment violated some town code, and needed to be replaced. “Sorry, I forgot to tell you. They’re going to need to go in your room too.”
Then, furious, I went to the bathroom to shower so I could go find somewhere warm. My roommate and his girlfriend left the apartment while I was in the shower. They just fucking left. With 12+ random people in our fucking house, the doors unlocked, and the windows fucking missing.
Fearing that a bunch of our stuff could get stolen, I sat in the living room for 3 hours while they replaced the windows in my room, climbing all over my bed with dirty work boots and getting shit everywhere across my room. The most fun part? The workers decided the best way to replace windows was to first take out all the windows in the apartment, then put all the new ones in, one-by-one, with mine being the last. But of course no one ever told me that was the plan, and none of the workers spoke English. So I sat in the living room for 3 hours next to the fucking open hole in the wall in 10 degrees, wearing a jacket, until I said fuck it all and went out to lunch. When I got back, I had to wash all of my bedsheets and spend the rest of the night cleaning my room.
Fucking worst roommates of my entire life.