My love Is not an Ordinary Love
This is a story from my wife, tell about how she met me and married me. Please read it.
The first time I met him when I graduated from college. There was no feeling at that time, just feeling nervous. The man I knew from two sheets of paper containing his personal data through a child guardian who I taught at the time. a week after getting his data, we finally met. Don’t imagine we met sitting together, face to face and chatting casually … we sat in a different room, bounded by walls. only the door with curtains as our connection. We were accompanied by our friends. question by question said to each other. to got to know each other and eliminate doubts between us. until the time came we had to meet face to face, yes we met face to face for about 5 minutes. Don’t imagine we are eye contact … we are given time to take turns to see each other.
After that meeting, I didn’t know what would happen. I surrender everything to God. Hopefully, if he was the best mate for me, then given the ease until the marriage later. I thought nothing at that time because I was desperate. The despair of getting a godly husband. I had done this process several times, the ta’aruf process (the process of getting to know one another to continue to marriage in Islam). All of them failed because my parents didn’t want to accept the prospective husband I introduced. Some had come home to get to know my family, but my parents did not agree. therefore, for this ta’aruf process, I have been pessimistic. Never mind if indeed I was not permitted to marry. Despair continued to haunt me …even though the hope continued in my heart. Hoping to God that I would be given the best husband. I was afraid of not be approved by parents, hoped to get the best mate, feeling pessimistic about my condition at that time. I’m not a beautiful, rich, or smart girl. I’m just an ordinary girl, from a poor family. Who wanted to make me his wife ?? Yeah, there’s nothing I could count on.
I returned to where I was teaching, I lived there because I could not afford to rent a house. Went home with mixed feelings. I didn’t know, what would happen to my life. I surrender to Allah. I didn’t want to bother with the meeting, I gave up. Whatever happened, it must be the best for me. Day after day … I continued to pray and pray istiharoh … after returned from the meeting, I felt sick, vomited, dizzy, could not eat at all. Every time there was food or drink that entered, immediately vomited. Just standing up for prayer I was unable. until exactly one week after the meeting, I was curious about what the man would do. Because I was desperate, if I had died then at least I knew what the man would do.
I ventured to send a message to him, asked what he wanted to do next. Wanted to continue the ta’aruf process or not. Unexpected the answer came, he wanted to continue the ta’aruf process. He asked my home address, wanted to visit home & introduce himself to my family. I was confused after receiving the message, what should I do? How if my parents reject it ?? Whereas my condition was really not good at that time. I asked my father to take me home, went to the doctor & got a rest at home. Anyway, I had to be healthy first, whatever happened, I had to be ready.
Finally, he came home with his friend. I couldn’t meet with him because my condition was still weak, I just heard from my room. Do you know what surprised me? My father accepted the proposal. Subhanallah walhamdulillaah wallohu Akbar .. Alhamdulillaah, all praise just for Allah … something amazing happened to me. When I have lost hope, only Allah was my last hope, and then Allah gave the answer …surprised, happy & emotion mixed up at that time. When it was immediately my pain turned into pleasure … it turned out that with this pain, Allah wanted to make it easy.
A week later he came home with his parents and brother-in-law. Came to do a formal marriage application and to determine the date of the wedding. they set the date 12 April 2009 as our wedding date. The process was so fast, maasyaaAllah, one month from the first we met. At that time I was 23 years old, and my husband was 29 years old. Believe it or not, we married without being based on love. we married because of Allah, insyaaAllah. And thank God we now have 3 children, 1 daughter and 2 sons.
That’s the story from my wife. Her story about how she met and married me. Yes, we didn’t know each other before, and then we met and married. We were married without dating before. How it can? Because our religion forbids us for dating before marriage. Thank god that we can do that.
And then how about my own story? I will tell you later, insyaaAllah.
How can you get married without love?
Our goal to get married is to obey Allah, maintain honor, follow the Sunnah of the Prophet, get the blessed offsprings.
Do you love your husband?
Of course, I love my husband … love based on love because of Allah insyaaAllah, and love because he loves me because Allah also … because he always tries to make me happy, accompany me, forgive me, obey my request, look after me and care for me when I’m sick, because he is the father of my children, he always makes me the best for him .. masyaa Allah … how much I love you, my husband. may Allah bless him.
When was the first time you fell in love with your husband?
The first time I fell in love with him was after our marriage. Maybe a little funny, at first I didn’t dare look at his face … even though he had become my husband. I still remember the beginning of our marriage, I did not memorize his face. I still did not dare to look at his face directly, I used to steal the sight of seeing him from a distance. I could only take 2 weeks off from school and had to go back to teach, so my husband had to go back to work outside the city. That time we used to date and get to know each other. Every two weeks he came home to see me. When he came home the first time, I was confused when I had to pick him up. I forgot his face … I finally opened the marriage certificate with a picture of him. So I was not wrong when I pick up my husband later.
One month of our marriage, I was late for menstruation. I tried a urine test, and it turns out that I was pregnant … confused, shocked, what should I do ?? How about this?? Just looked at my husband’s face I had not dared, let alone love him? Why was I pregnant? I still wanted to know him, fell in love with him, went out with him … I called him, I cried … I said that I was not ready to get pregnant … our marriage age was only for a while… I didn’t know you well … and he just answered: sorry … sorry … and sorry. Yeah, this was so funny … haha … just forget it. Isn’t the intention to marry to get offspring? Then why do I even cry when I know I’m pregnant ?? After I found out I was pregnant, I tried to vent myself to see his face. And when I first saw his face after returned from the mosque, somehow it felt strange, his face was like shining, his smile was really charming … my heart was beating fast … my face was hot, I was embarrassed … I immediately turned my face away … O Allah, whether was this name falling in love? He approached me, my heart beat faster. That was the first time I fell in love with my husband. Even now I still fall in love with him … I love You, my husband. may Allah keep our love, now and forever until to heaven. aamiin