Alcoholism and My Life
Posted on March 17, 2019 by seosteve
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A single working mom informs us about her battle with alcohol dependency – and what led to it in her daily life.
My Life as a Closeted Alcoholic
While the typical presumption is that those who binge drink every day are at a higher threat of ending up being alcoholics, specialists believe that binge drinkers are at a greater danger. That lady who just indulges Friday nights might be at a greater danger of dependency on Alcohol.
Being a female for a number of reasons makes you more susceptible to the results of alcohol on your body and your well being.
” All of us understand what an alcoholic really is: Their lives are a mess. They are the mom who neglects her husband and children.
The alcoholic is the one you see staggering out of the bar, the one who in some cases falls into a ditch or end up in hospital? My name is Jerioth, I am 39 and I am an alcoholic.
LOVE AFFAIR WITH ALCOHOL STARTS.
” I had a love affair with alcohol, but it was not always passionate. In my young and teenage adulthood years, the relationship was hardly there.
” When I was growing up on a farm in Sagana in Nyeri County, I never ever saw anybody drinking in our house; our celebrations did not include alcohol. My mom is a strong Christian, an Anglican Church vicar. My daddy, the more liberal of the 2, hardly ever drank and if he did it was on special occasions like Christmas and birthdays. Even then it would only be one glass of wine. He had no obsession with alcohol like I did.
” I was an impressionable 20-year-old trainee at a city college when I had my very first alcoholic beverage– a glass of sweet red wine. For the next 5 years, I continued binge drinking, although I knew I was drinking far to much it wasn’t enough to make me question if I was an alcoholic and I continued to drink to excess at weekends. I finished from college, got my very first position in workplace administration for a personal midlevel business in Nairobi and life was better than ever, I had arrived!
” When I began earning a wage, drinking ended up being a sort of benefit for a task well done; I drank heavily on payday, after a long day or when I nailed a business transaction . The time came when I met Chris, the guy who was to become my partner and we continued with the drinking ritual that we were used to.
We would drink to celebrate our successes and drink to commiserate our failures. When we got our very first apartment or condo together in Donholm Estate, we would drink but the amount I consumed was a lot more than Chris but I hid it very well. I would drink before we went out, sometimes half a bottle of vodka, you see my tolerance levels were very high. In the beginning and for some years I was able to function having consumed large amounts of alcohol. Yes I was what we call “a functioning alcoholic”
” Chris was a much heavier drinker than I however he restricted many of his drinking to Friday and Saturday nights. While I in some cases got the cravings for a drink, my drinking was not an issue … at least, that was how it appeared. I might go weeks without drinking.
When I did drink I would consume four or five glasses of red wine and then move on to spirits. All the alcohol remained in the closet in our bed room.
I remained off alcohol throughout my pregnancies however as soon as I had finished weaning my children we would go out and I would consume a years’ worth. Our picture-perfect marital relationship began to slide in to oblivion and on a frequent basis so would I.
As our eight year marriage came to the end I invested numerous nights alone with a glass of liqueur.When Chris left our house for his new found love of his life I slowly retired to daily drinking alone in the house on my own.
As the post-election mayhem threatened to tear the nation apart.in 2008, my heart was breaking into a million little pieces.
” Alcohol ended up being a part of my day-to-day life. I would drink very heavily every night and i would drink myself unconscious wake up in the morning not having a clue where I had been or what I had done. By this time alcohol had taken hold of me I was powerless of the stuff and my life and health was suffering”,
” After a while, I could not manage my kids’s maintenance and 3 or 4 bottles of cream liqueurs weekly so I changed to vodka. About a year in, I would wake up feeling lethargic and sluggish in the mornings, hardly able to function. Eventually I would need a drink in the mornings to calm my nerves and face the day and what is miserable life I had.
” By 2010, I was no longer drinking due to the fact that I was feeling very ill and very unhappy. I was drinking at least a litre bottle of vodka just to get through the day. I would avoid drinking in social situations in case I embarrassed myself, yes I was.scared of losing control. I would pop into get together’s with my friends (the few I had left) and then rush back too my house to finish the bottle I had already opened.
” While I was typically taken in by feelings of remorse and regret, I never ever considered myself as an alcoholic. By now I had become a daily drinker but the fact’s were I was running a house and looking after three kids so how could I be an Alcoholic. I used these examples to deny my alcoholism. They say alcoholism is an illness of denial and my denial was incredible.
My greatest concern then wasn’t the drinking, it was getting caught out. I was becoming paranoid. What would they say if they saw the amount of vodka bottles and often less expensive alcohol that I tossed out with my garbage?
FANTASTIC LENGTHS TO CONCEAL DEPENDENCY.
” Like numerous addicts, I went to extreme lengths to conceal my dependency. I am sure my kids saw it however I expect they had actually ended up being conditioned to my situation and just accepted my alcoholism for what it was, a very sad state off affairs.
While no one ever truly challenged me, people began to shown concern for my blood shot eyes in the mornings and my tired looking skin. Like a true Alcoholic I made excuses that I was tired trying too run my house and look after 3 children but I knew they was aware of my drinking and the fact that it was way, way out of control. I had an addiction and I and they knew it.
” Then, one cold Monday early morning in April of 2014, after an especially thirsty Sunday night, I got up to discover myself stretched on the living-room flooring, my empty bottle of vodka lying next to me.
My oldest child who was 13 had actually gotten her brother and sisters all set and they ‘d gone to school. I understood that if I didn’t do something about my drinking, I was going to lose my kids.
I was finally Beaten and hit my rock bottom, after nearly a year of drinking alone, I went to a Facebook page and put out the pity, regret and remorse that was torturing me. I was crying out for help and just needed to unload but a lady called Terisa who was a recovering addict and a Councillor reached out too me.
When I ended up in rehab (which was the best thing that could of ever happend to me) my brothers just could not believe it. How could I be an alcoholic when neither of them suffered from what I now know to be a spiritual illness. I have already said I was very good at hiding my drinking and to my knowledge they had never seen me drunk. However, this was by more luck than judgement.
” It’s been 21 months that I have been sober and not taken a single drink of alcohol. If I stated I have not had mental cravings I would be lying, of course I have I am an alcoholic. I am yet to share this part of my life with my aging mom and dad. I know the time will come when I can face my mom and dad and make amends, this is step 9 of a program I work. Making amends is not just saying sorry and moving on it’s much more than that. When we make amends it requires some kind of ACTION. Let me give you a real life example of what I mean. Once when I was drunk I stole money from one of my friends who had come to see me. Now making amends is not a case of admitting it and saying sorry. Yes it’s a big thing to take somebody to one side and admit you stole from them. But step 9 requires more than this. I had to admit I stole money, say i was sorry and PAY IT BACK, that’s the action in step 9.
TELLTALE INDICATIONS OF CLOSET ALCOHOL ADDICTION.
Alcohol abuse exists throughout socio-economic groups and affects a multitude of ages. So a closet drinker does not fit any specific profile, making it more difficult to find them. While the closeted alcoholic is frequently high operating and may appear normal to the remainder of the world author Sarah Benton in her book Comprehending the High functioning Alcoholic states that alcoholism can’t go entirely undetected. With a closeted alcoholic though, the indications aren’t so apparent and you need to know just where to look”,
Here are some warnings:.
The most apparent indication of a closeted alcoholic is that they drink alone. You may have your suspicions they are drinking excessively but you have never actually seen them drunk.
They will attempt to hide their dependency; keep an eye out for eye bags or continuously looking worn out skin and using heavy makeup to conceal this condition.
When we have been drinking in the evenings we often come to in the mornings (I say come too because this is what we do we don’t wake up) anf feel like death warmed up, keep an eye out for this sluggish behavior in the mornings. More often than not in advanced Alcoholism we have to take a drink in the mornings to calm the nerves and relief the anxiety.
Even the very best closet drinker will have uncharacteristic behavior. Keep an eye out for patterns of missed appointments.
A BIG ISSUE
A 2014 report by NACADA states that approximately 13.3 percent of Kenyans are presently drinking to extreme limits – that’s at least 4 million individuals. A 2015 worldwide report on alcohol addiction states that a minimum of 4.9 percent of the world’s population are suffering from Alcoholism.
Alcohol addiction is a huge issue.
Jerioth and others like her who select to drink alone in the house after dark go uncounted, suggesting that the issue is more serious than it looks. Psychiatrist Prof Lukoye W’Atwoli, who heads the psychological health department at The Moi University, blames the increase of closeted alcoholics on social mindsets: Females are not expected to show up anywhere drunk it’s just not sociably acceptable. Therefore they hide away and feed their addiction at home behind closed doors where nobody can see them.
How Can We Treat This Condition?
Interventions in a healthcare facility setting would work best for some people but not all. Although it’s very difficult to know just how much somebody is drinking there are signs and we need to look out for them. We have already mentioned some of these signs previously in this article so just be on the look out for them.
ALCOHOL AND A LADY’S BODY.
While the typical presumption is that those that consume every day are at a higher threat of ending up being alcoholics, professionals believe that binge drinkers are at a greater danger. That female who just indulges Friday nights might be at a greater danger of dependency.
Being a female will often make you more susceptible to the effects of alcohol on your body. Physiologically, ladies are smaller sized and their bodies and this includes having less water. A comparable quantity of alcohol will have a higher result on a female than in a male. When it does occur, it impacts her quicker and more significantly.
To prevent falling in to this drinking pattern keep your units of alcohol to a minimum if you need to drink. According to Prof W’Atwoli, one unit a day is typical. You are at a high danger of dependency if you have more than 4 units every day.
Alcoholism can and does affect anybody but this is a very complicated illness which can never be cured but can be arrested one day at a time. Many people go to AA others use alternative methods.
If you have tried AA and it was not for you you may like to checkout the program below.