This post is for my fellow women and I believe they will understand my line of thoughts. However, I secretly desire that men also read it through as it will help them understand better the mysteries behind a woman’s preference when it comes to choice of a partner.
Education has brought about self awareness. This is why educated single ladies understand singlehood to mean more flexibility in terms of how they structure their personal lives. Decades ago, women were married off without a right to make a decision and so they didn’t understand that marrying a man who is non-workibg or non-involved can be a huge problem in the future. Many of our mothers suffered this but nowadays, education has enlightened women to understand that it is okay to have a choice.
The society has stereotyped women as placing too much value on a man’s wealth and status rather than his character. What the society forgets is that it is evolutionary. Years ago, men tend to court women with their farm produce, catch or game animals to lure her into a sense of security. Nowadays, we do not have many young men as farmers and so those things translates into money. An average young man understands that to get a woman to accept you, you must be ready to spend.
What then does a woman want? This question does not have a straightforward answer as it depends on the context. When assessing a man as a potential partner, women put into consideration two factors which are, will it be a long term relationship or a short term relationship? Women are very selective and individualistic in what they want.
In a short term relationship, a woman is easily swayed by physical appearance, sense of humour, voice pitch (deep), and intelligence. Once the relationship begins to look like a long term affair, the woman looks beyond the physical appearance and more at his personality, characteristics and suitability.
In a long term relationship, a woman’s ultimate aims are survival and reproduction. Survival is having the basic necessities of life – food, clothes and shelter and all these translates to money. Getting united with success is a better recipe for the future than getting hitched to failure. This is why a smart, wealthy, mobile and sexually powerful man is more likely to get a girl’s number than a dull, broke, non-mobile and sexually powerful man. Unfortunately giving these types of men so much attention has unquestionably created a mindset in the heart of the younger generation that money is all it takes to have any type of woman you desire hence the popular Nigerian slang, “if you no get money, hide your face”.
Pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding are activities that are energy intensive, time consuming and quite difficult to integrate with a paid work. The woman contributes 9 months of her life while the man contributes just a few minutes to make the baby. It is only right for the woman to desire a man who is financially stable and can take care of herself and her child. Have you seen a pregnant woman during the hot seasons in a house without light? Except you have no conscience, all you will feel for her is pity. To live comfortably, it is natural for a woman to prefer a man with money because together they can afford to live a better life. Money cant buy happiness but neither can poverty afford it. Nobody wants to be stuck in an endless list of IOU’s. if a woman prefers her man to have money, it doesn’t mean she is shallow, it simply means she wants to experience life with you.
Before you go screaming, “Cant women make their own money?” do not forget that there has been a tectonic shift in gender roles. Nowadays, we have more wives as the financial provider and this puts so much pressure on the man causing him to exhibit virility. Women have gained access to resources and opportunities thanks to increasing gender equality. Gone are those days when single women downplayed their career goals and tone down their assertiveness in the hope of making themselves more desirable. Nowadays, men attribute so much importance to a woman’s good education and earning prospects just like women do.
Is it wrong for a woman to be open about what she wants? If you say a woman shouldn’t be attracted to a man’s wealth and status then everyone (both male and female) should be attracted to what is inside and not what is outside but then people are attracted to what they are attracted to, you can’t help it.
PS: There are women who are more concerned about educational equality, ethnicity, religion, political compability than a man’s wealth and status.