Are females raised to blame themselves? In the essay “Swerve”,” Brenda Miller speaks out about her relationship. Her boyfriend blames her for things she can’t control. This is evidence in the piece when she states, “I would apologize for the eggs being overcooked…when I had the music on and when I had it off …and sorry for crying, and sorry for laughing, I would apologize, finally for simply being alive.” This quote is a perfect example of most modern-day relationships. Her boyfriend always seemed to be unpleased by the things she would do, and naturally she got into the habit of thinking she could never do anything right. Like how most females think today.
In the quote it touches me personally because I was once in a relationship to where I was the evident problem for everything or, so I thought. I would apologize for not being enough or looking a certain way or even acting a certain way. It took a big impact on me personally because after a while I began to believe I was worthless and could do nothing right, that somehow, someway it was my fault. Even growing up watching my mom with my step-dad she would always get the blame for anything and everything as if men have no wrong-doing. It just opened my perspective more to notice that men can be the root of the problem but no matter what, no matter the reasoning it will always falls upon the female.
Blaming women stems from biblical times? John Berger’s excerpt, Ways of Seeing discusses the story of Adam and Eve. Because Eve (the women) eats the apple and they become aware of their nakedness, also by eating the apple Eve went against gods important request to not eat the fruit or punishment would be brought upon her and Adam and all mankind. It also states in the excerpt, “the woman is blamed and punished by being made subservient to the man.” (48.) So even at that time Eve was blamed and punished and the thought of Eve the first woman who was blamed by god himself, you would think it is as if in our blood to blame us females for anything and everything because of Eves wrong-doing. Another quote from the excerpt God says to Eve “I will greatly multiple thy sorrow…in sorrow thou shalt bring fourth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee.” (48.) In the quote it is basically stating that from there on out we will always be wrong from man and they shall always have the power over us and always be right since Eve had done something wrong.
Females cause their sexual assault? Sexual assault is the most known way of how females are blamed in society, they are literally blamed for their own sexual assault. In Jackson Katz TedTalk video “Violence against women-it’s a men’s issue.” He made the comment “victim-blaming is persuasive in this realm which is to say, blaming the person whom something was done rather than the person who did it.” In just that sentence it makes you think to why the accused aren’t getting asked the questions, since they were the ones that committed the assault. Why are females having to take on the role of being the reason at fault for everything. As he talks further into the video he points out how “that’s our cognitive structure is, it’s to always ask woman what they were doing, why they were drinking, or why were they hanging out with that group of guys. to see that things are females faults because men are so superior and do nothing wrong, we’ve been taught that everything is our (females) faults.
From the video I just realized more that so many sexual assault cases always end upon the female no matter what, no matter how. Questions asked such as what were you wearing at that time? were you intoxicated? Or they even base it on how long they wait to report it. As a prime example, I, myself was raped at the age of 15 by a high schooler. I didn’t speak up about it for a month or two because of me automatically believing it was my fault, that I did something wrong, or I would be in trouble. Once I spoke about it and told what really happened it got turned into “you wanted it”, “you were just scared about people finding out, and now you’re lying” or even “you shouldn’t have been hanging out with him always.” I was blamed for my own horrific experience of sexual assault and I (a female) was blamed for what the guy did. In so many ways females are blamed and have been blamed for so many things since the beginning of time to this present day. It is like females are raised to blame themselves.