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How to let go of being a ’good’ person — and become a better person

This video communicates about the definition of a good person. Each individual defines being a good person differently by perspective. The definition of a good person is narrow due to the human brain relies on shortcuts to do a lot of its work. It was explained that that mental processes are taken place outside of the awareness, like a computer low on battery, or a phone in low charge mode. In addition human brain can only process limited amount of information due to its limited capacity. The article had stated an example saying if there are 11 million pieces of information are coming into your mind, eleven million, and 40 of them are only being processed consciously. What it means is there are times when human brain goes on a short term memory and causes bounded rationality. The bounded rationality means a person making a really bad decision. An example of bounded rationality is when a person goes under unconscious biased. The definition of Unconscious biased refers to association we have in our mind, the shortcuts your brain using to organize information, likely outside of your awareness. Being biased to thing can lead to conflict of interest because we tend to under estimate how much of an object means or value. Most of us defines a bigger object can mean a lot better than a smaller object. This can effect of how we do decision making. Being too biased can cause a negative effect to a lot of people due to other people have different angle of perspective. In addition, being too biased, we can easily makes a lot of decision making mistakes. Our mind forces to unconsciously lining up evidence to support the point of view of the other person, no matter how we try hard to look at things and become professional, we still see bounded ethically. Most people nowadays claim themselves as a good person, but they don’t clearly see themselves that they making many wrong choices and wrong doings due to no one is criticizing them of their actions. By making a bad decision of your actions can affect people around you by hurting their feeling, promote injustice, and we tend to protect our awful decision rather than learning from them. Making repeatedly mistakes on decision making can go into a red-zone defensiveness. This means is that, the reason why we always claim that each individual think they are good person is because nobody is challenging our good person identity, and we’re not thinking too much about the ethical implications of our decisions. Dolly Chugh had stated that a person may be challenging its personal behavior, so that ethical implication of decisions can become really salient because each individual trying and focusing on becoming a good person rather than to let it go of being a good person, and learn new things every day. By learning new things every day, we need to set higher standards, a standard of becoming a goodish person. We all know that a goodish person still makes mistake but learn as we move along. People makes mistake and getting in trouble of poor decision making intern of ethics, diversity, and biased.

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By watching this short video, I was able to relate myself into the incident because my action was clearly very biased to a group of people without looking to a different angle of perspective. I was also unconsciously making decisions and never thought about of how other people think or may feel. My decision making was based on my emotions of what I felt during at that time, so I was much blinded with arrogance and decision became really salient. At that time, I know myself acting like to be the good person defending my own emotions. My emotions made me blind that said things inappropriately towards others. I should have set a higher standard of myself and evaluated of how to handle situations more carefully and professionally. Problems can be solve with much better options like approaching a supervisor for good counseling. Even though all the inappropriate words I have said to this individual, I might have saw it as a joke, or funny to others, but in reality I am really being bias, and unethical. I can see myself being in the red zone of defensiveness because I used my emotions to speak rather my knowledge. I definitely never followed the good integrity, I should have ignored it, and kept working and have a better sense of better diversity. I also can related of what she said on the video of how she said our brain was able to only process 40 information of the time, that could have been the reason that made me said things blindly. This incident also challenged my identity of being a good person because in those cases that we spiral towards more and more good person behavior. This perception made me overestimate the importance of my inner compass playing in my ethical decisions. Over estimating myself standards through things could have been a source of poor decision making, and perhaps I never realized how much affecting my behavior. In addition, I also believed in that I was protecting for that good person behavior identity because I am very sensitive of what others says about me and I keep my integrity and standards very high. I am very protective when it comes to my public image that is why I get frustrated when a person say things that is wrong about myself. I could have handle this situation very differently, and learn how to understand others also, and what they meant first before making a bad decisions.

My actions have impacted others differently to my perspective because all the messages are all said as a joke due to my frustration. The messages were taken out of context, and when viewed by others blown way out of proportion. My actions definitely hurt other people feelings because of my poor decision making, and my immature attitude. I was speaking things without thinking that could possibly made people threatened, and intimidated. With all with these bad decision asking I made, I have added more negativity about myself that could leave other people want to distance their selves out of my proximity. Another possibility of what my actions can affect other people is when they see how I acted to these type of scenario, I might actually influence someone to be the same manners, and apply it to different person. I do believe in chain reaction, and I have learn people tends to go along with other people whether it’s the bad thing or the right thing to do. Bad influence can be the factor that could destroy the rest. I wasn’t aware that my actions were very threatening to other people due to the fact I wasn’t unaware what I was saying was hurtful to others due to my emotions of feeling insulted and defamed to what other told me. It was very difficult to make good decision making when you are feeling upset or hurt. Instead, I could have cool down and have assessed the situation, and have acted professionally that could have made things not hurtful to other people. My actions were very atrocious to other people due to the things I have said, and that could have led to my bad image here in the campus. We all know people passes information around, and that could also be my downfall to other people. People might have think that my action can be really disturbing, threatening, violent, and careless, due to immaturity handling the situation. With all my actions, this could have made people saw with my very biased to people, promote injustice, and explain my mistakes rather than learning from them. I also remember what my parents told me about how my attitude will affect the people around me. The actions I made could have driven the group chat more furious about this person due to the added negativity.

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If I will be placed in a same situation again, I will handle things differently by analyzing and examining the scenario wisely. By properly assessing the scenario before making an atrocious conduct, it will make things a lot easier to manage when in comes to situation like this. My actions will be very different when things like comes again in the future because I don’t want to be making the same mistakes twice and I don’t want to look immature and unprofessional to everybody. I would approach this kind of scenario wisely to avoid further conflict and biased comments to everybody. Taking an action without proper planning can lead to bad catastrophe due making actions without thinking and it can affect other’s feelings and emotions depends on that person’s point of view of your actions. If I would have to be stuck in the same situation again, I will calmly approach the person without being angry, and kindly explain why I felt insulted from the comments made. I will be honest to that person who made an insulted comment by making sure to spend some time discussing on how to address the problem and outline the steps to rectify. It is also important to say honest opinion to the person rather than talking smack behind that person. Being honest is very important because it enables to admit that any person is capable of making a mistake, and they are willing to admit it. It is important that someone should refer to an actual mistake instead of pretending that no one had committed a mistake. If I will be involved in this type of scenario again, I will be referring this problem with my lawyer to proper handle this situation in order to avoid further conflict. In addition, I will be also seeking a counselor for an advice in school to check what are my options to handle this problem. It is also important to step a little and re-assess the situation by kindly taking to the person who made an insulting comment by never raising your voice in anger or cause any disruption. Always remember to be always respectful and show good behavior to any type of situations, and showing a good manner is an essential in all aspects in life when you want others to be respecting you also. Being at school is like going to work and it shows how you go along with your co-workers. It is important to have a respectful workplace, and employees in order to have a higher productivity. In the contrary if a workplace has no respect, and have more conflicts, the productive will be significantly a lot lower. By having a good behavior, it can uplift someone’s spirit to boost their confidence and encouragement. I believe that proper respect also can reduce stress because it takes away the feeling of fear in an environment, and also boost the sense of freedom to live and work within the environment. Being respectful also very rewarding because it improves builds trust to one another specially when building a project together by sharing each other ideas and trusting each other. This is a stage where everybody is developing a good relationship to each other and engaging a fair environment which leads to reducing the amount of stress and improve knowledge sharing, and prevent jealousy, backstabbing, and other words that could hurt someone. It is also important to play fairly when involved in a certain problem to avoid hurting others and making a problem more complicated that it should be. In addition, by showing respect to one another gives a good sense of control on our own actions and words. By giving an empathy to other’s feeling is where you support their compassion, and it is a sense where you show how to relate to thought and emotions of others. At the end, think before you act, don’t let your emotion speaks, but be wisely!

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