I strive to transform my own life experience as a Chinese artist in the western world into
sculptural representations of my own“un”traditional fairytales just as glass has the ability
to transform as a material. There is innate terror in the body turned against itself.
Imagine you are lucid, eyes open, heart pounding, but you cannot move. you are
powerless against the visions that torment me and each moment increases the crushing
pressure on my chest. You are alone with my fear, a victim of this mysterious disconnect
between mind and body. I discovered glass at a moment when chronic sleep paralysis
was my nightly torment. This material, volatile and molten, became my passion.
Something that I could gradually learn to gain control of while suffering through the lack
of control the sleep paralysis was imposing upon my psyche. I felt its tremendous power
and it inspired me to change my life. I devoted myself to technical exploration and in
doing so found my direction. This figurative material transfixed me and has taken me on
a journey to transform my nightmares into something both tangible and hauntingly
I will create two forms of written dissemination of my work, the first of these is manifesto
the second part will be three different storyline and concept to give viewers who have
not experienced these nightmares”,
What is sleep paralysis, Sleep paralysis is when you wake up and your body’s
paralyzed and you start to go into like a paralytic shock.
As a visual artist, when come cross with sleep paralysis I have been exploring
surrealism, phenomenology and mythology, they have fascination within myself”,
For human sleep is primary behavior, it is an individual experience for everyone. Thus”,
As an international student study in the states unconsciously and increasingly
influenced by the stresses of academic life, it is very important to pay close attention to
that, while sleep paralysis may cause mental disorders, it is unusual phenomenon, it
also help as yet another reason facilitate metal and physical well-being in campus.
The desired outcome of both these forms of dissemination is that it will help me
improving on my emotional sate since I am mentally aware of my dreams and such they
are not as terrifying any more and they do not come as often.
Glass is a medium where you can express rational and irrational thoughts even dreams
through three dimensions and I would like to show what happens in my brain to my
Idea: The figure that I have experienced during sleep paralysis have been formally
dressed with the strange rabbit shaped face. So human-like rabbit and costume
kind of things really play along with my experiences during sleep paralysis. When I
create the glass sculpture, it is almost like experiencing again but in a different space
where I am able to analyze it and not be paralyzed understand what I am actually
1. I use enamels to draw symbols like a ladder as a connection between my
brain and body, the clock angel and devil represent time could be doubleblade
2. Part of drawing inspirations are from the texture of rotten fruits and
3. I had a memorable relationship in U.S with my ex-girlfriend. She is from
Japan, when she left U.S, we gave each other a toy rabbit as memory. So the
rabbit toy is full of my memory between her and myself.
Brief: This work I want to express the feeling of escaping from own body. Every night the
physical and mental torment happens over and over again，so that pushes my mental
pain to break out of my own body.
July 3, 2013
a stranger appearing in sleep paralysis, I remember waking up from a creepy dream”,
and lying in my bed for a minute, then my Korean roommate opened the door and I
could see his silhouette, was he there to comfort me possibly? he did not anything, then
he eerily hobbled into my room, and started looking a little more creepy, he looked a
little a creature form where the wild things are, I could only see the dark outline of his
body and head, but his hair appeared messy and his head looked larger than normal, I
was on the top bunk and my another roommate was asleep below. My Korean
roommate stood at my bed and his head was about level with my own, he stood there
for a minute at the side of my bunkbed, and I could begin to sense that things were
weird, then, he reached out and started tickling me a little, I was not freaked out quite
yet, then I began to feel uncomfortable, but the tickling intensified, he began grunting
quietly, almost as if he was murmuring something, finally I was trying to tell her to stop
but of course, words were impossible to form, the tickling intensified until he was
scratching and jabbing and digging at my torso by then the grunting had eventually
grown into a deep growling and howling, I could not move or make any noise, why
would not my another roommate wake up and help me?! Scariest thing that ever
happened to me.
July 14, 2013
After I was tired from playing my phone game and laid down and got ready for bed, I
remember not being able to move although I was completely awake, and white bluish
light coming from around my bed and lighting up the room, when I was able to move my
eyeballs for a moment and saw four alien figures at the corners of my bed, I felt as
though the room was moving and I was being abducted, as the aliens started coming
closer to my paralyzed body I fought through the paralysis and immediately got up, my
body was in cold sweats and I turned on all the lights in my room, for a while I was
trying to fight off the notion that what I actually happened to me was real.
I remember waking up and hearing really loud “scrapping sound”, I thought it was my
American roommate, because he had bruxism at night, I tried moving, but I could not do
anything at all, I could bare breathe, I could not close my eyes, I could not make any
sound at all, I was starting to panic, desperately trying to say something or just move a
little bit, the sound was getting louder and louder to the point that I could barely stand it.
I also started feeling pressure on my chest, that’s when I saw a strange head in front of
me( I was laying on my side all that time), I remember the head being male, skinny bald”,
its ears were sticking out and it had sort whiteish color, the head started talking to me”,
but the only thing it was “ you have to warn her”, after it said that, the head started to
fade away, after is was gone, I started regaining control of my body. I was completely
terrified and my heart was beating like crazy. I remember I went to my computer and just
typed something like “woke up and could not move at night”, I was kind relived when I
started reading about it.
Brief: When I was 19 I started to experience sleep paralysis, the torment gave me vary
hard time to moving my body even though my mental was waking up, but still
hallucinating “,I had to keep trying and waiting the time could let my body connects with
my mind, but the process would take so long to wake me up totally, so the time could be
the angel or devil.
Brief: This work is a part of my dream, during the dream I was running and
running in same place, no matter I was running fast or slow, this creature was
following me and I can not get rid of him. I want to give the viewer a glimpse
inside the strange and chilling qualities of a nonsensical nightmare, it is dark
cryptic mysterious and can even be dangerous and it is all based on my
personal experiences of literally being paralyzed with fear.