The first time I met him, when I graduated from college. There was no feeling at that time, just feeling nervous. The man I knew from two sheets of paper containing his personal data through a child guardian who I taught at the time. a week after getting his data, we finally met. Don’t imagine we met sitting together, face to face and chatting casually … we sat in a different room, bounded by walls. only the door with curtains as our connection. We were accompanied by our friends. question by question said to each other. to got to know each other and eliminate doubts between us. until the time came we had to meet face to face, yes we met face to face for about 5 minutes. Don’t imagine we are eye contact … we are given time to take turns to see each other.
After that meeting I didn’t know what would happen. I surrender everything to God. Hopefully if he was the best mate for me, then given the ease until the marriage later. I thought nothing at that time, because I desperated. Despair of getting a godly husband. I had done this process several times, the ta’aruf process (the process of getting to know one another to continue to marriage in Islam). All of them failed because my parents didn’t want to accept the prospective husband I introduced. Some had come home to get to know my family, but my parents did not agree. therefore, for this ta’aruf process I have been pessimistic. Never mind if indeed I am not permitted to marry. despair continues to haunt me …even though the feeling of hope continued in my heart. hoping for God to be given the best husband. fear if not approved by parents, hope to get the best mate, feeling pessimistic about my condition at that time. I’m not a beautiful, rich, or smart girl. I’m just an ordinary girl, from a poor family. who wants to make me wife ?? yeah, there’s nothing I can count on.
I returned to where I was teaching, I lived there because I could not afford to rent a house. go home with mixed feelings. I don’t know, what will become of my life. I surrender with Allah. I don’t want to bother with the meeting, I gave up. whatever happens, it must be the best for me. day after day … I continued to pray and pray istiharoh … after returning from the meeting, I fell sick, vomited, dizzy, could not eat at all. every time there is food or drink that enters, immediately vomits. to just stand up for prayer I was unable. until exactly one week after the meeting, I was curious about what the man would do. because I was desperate, if I had died then at least I knew what the man would do.
I dare to send a message to him, asking what he wants to do next. want to continue the ta’aruf process or not. unexpected answers came, he wanted to continue the ta’aruf process. he asked my home address, wanted to visit home & introduce himself to my family. I’m confused about getting the message, what should I do? what if my parents reject it ?? whereas at that time my condition was really not good. I asked my father to take me home, go to the doctor & rest at home. Anyway, I have to be healthy first, whatever happens, I have to be ready.
Finally he came home with his friend. I can’t see him because my condition is still weak, I just hear from the room. Do you know what surprised me? my father accepted the proposal. Subhanalloh walhamdulillaah wallohu Akbar .. Alhamdulillaah, all praise be to Allah … something amazing happened to me. when I have lost hope, only Allah rests my last, now Allah gives the answer …shock, happiness & emotion mixed up at that time. when it was immediately my pain turned into pleasure … it turned out that with this pain, Allah wanted to make it easy. a week later he came home with his parents and brother-in-law. come to do a formal marriage application and determine the date of the wedding. they set the date 12 April 2009 as our wedding date. the process was so fast, maasyaaAllah, one month from the first we met. at that time I was 23 years old, and my husband was 29 years old. believe it or not, we are married without being based on love. we are married because of Allah. and thank God we now have 3 children, 1 daughter and 2 sons.
How can you get married without love?
our goal to get married is to obey Allah, maintain honor, follow the sunnah of the Prophet, get the descendants of the blessing.
Do you love your husband?
of course I love my husband … love based on love because of Allah, and love because he loves me because Allah also … because he always tries to make me happy, accompany me, forgive me, obey my request, look after me and care for me when I’m sick, because he is the father of my children, he always makes me the best for him .. maayaa Allah … how much I love you too my husband. may Allah bless him.
When was the first time you fell in love with your husband?
the first time I fell in love with him was after our marriage. maybe a little funny, at first I didn’t dare look at his face … even though he had become my husband. I still remember the beginning of our marriage, I did not memorize his face. I still did not dare to look at his face directly, I used to steal the sight of seeing him from a distance. I can only take 2 weeks off from school and have to go back to teaching, so my husband has to go back to work outside the city. That time we used to date and get to know each other. every two weeks he came home to see me. when he came home the first time, I was confused when I had to pick him up. I forgot his face … I finally opened the marriage certificate with a picture of him. so I did not pick up my husband later.
one month of our marriage, I’m late for menstruation. I tried a urine test, and it turns out I was pregnant … confused, shocked, what should I do ?? How about this?? just looking at his face I have not dared, let alone love him? why am I pregnant? I still want to know him, fall in love with him, go out with him … I call him, I cry … I say I’m not ready to get pregnant … the age of our marriage is very short … I don’t know you well … and he just answer, sorry … sorry … and sorry. yeah, this is so funny … haha … just forget about it.. Isn’t the intention to marry to get offspring? Then why do I even cry when I know I’m pregnant ??after I found out I was pregnant, I tried to vent myself to see his face. and when I first saw his face after returning from the mosque, somehow it felt strange, his face was like shining, his smile was really charming … my heart was beating fast … my face was hot, I was embarrassed … I immediately lowered my face … Yes Allah, whether is this name falling in love? he approached me, my heart beat faster. that was the first time I fell in love with my husband. even now I still fall in love with him … I love You my husband. may Allah keep our love, now and forever to heaven. aamiin